At the age of seven, I lived with my grandmother, a respected community leader and devout Muslim. We lived in a big family house with about fifteen other siblings. We lived among people who practiced Christianity, Islam, and traditional religions and those who identified with no faith. Even though I was not practicing the Islamic faith with my grandmother, every morning during prayer, she sent me to the mosque to give money to support the people who were in need. I learned to honor people and respect religious diversity by watching my grandmother model those virtues through her interactions. I still remember one of her favorite Yoruba adages she uses daily. It reads, "Eniti a se lore ti ko dupe, o dabi olosa to ko ni leru lo" (Translation: If you show kindness to someone or give a gift to someone and the person does not appreciate the gift, it's as if an armed bandit has just robbed you). My grandmother was a selfless giver who raised many kids who were not her biological children or grandchildren. She taught me always to appreciate any act of kindness, no matter how seemingly insignificant.
When I became an adult, I realized many people in my tribe also use some expressions whenever they give a gift to someone or extend an act of kindness, and the person is trying to appreciate or show gratitude. They will say, "Ko to pe, a ki dupe ara eni" (Meaning: "It's no big deal," "Don't mention," "you don't have to say thank you to your family"). (FYI: Yoruba is a language spoken in West Africa, primarily in Southwestern and Central Nigeria. It's hard for me to translate to reflect the meaning deeply, but those expressions by many people sound like you don't always have to show gratitude.)
After reflecting on all these, I decided to stick to my grandmother's gratitude practice by saying thank you for any act of kindness extended to me as much as possible.
Here is a challenge to you and me: send gratitude texts or write gratitude letters to at least three people this week to appreciate an act of kindness.
Chaplain Samson King, M.Div.
Image Source:
https://guardian.ng/art/heart-of-gratitude-reinforces-benefits-of-appreciation/
https://www.africandrumming.com.au/product/talking-drum-yoruba-gangan/
