During one of my meetings with a group of Adults a few
days ago, I discussed a topic on “Spirituality and Gratitude”. Towards the end
of the meeting, I handed out a Gratitude worksheet that has these questions:
1. Write down a
gratitude ritual you do now.
2. Write down an
everyday privilege (blessing) you've noticed that you used to take for granted.
3. Name someone you're
grateful to have in your life and why.
4. Describe a way you've
thanked someone or intend to thank someone.
Some of the participants
volunteered to share what they put down and were very meaningful and helpful to
all of us. After I dismissed the class, one of them said, "I never thought
I will have something to thank you for because when they invited me for
"Spirituality Group", I thought it's going to be just one of that
religious stuff. But I enjoyed attending this meeting and I just wanted to say
Thank You!" I appreciated him and everyone for participating.
As if that was it, then comes a learning moment for me: After everyone had left, he was still in the room.
As I was about to step out, he said to me again, "I really want you to
know that I appreciate the discussion on gratitude again. Just a suggestion for
you," he continues, "I teach Creative Writing in one of the
universities here in the State." Wow, I never knew a college professor was
part of my audience thankfully. "When you were asking for volunteers to
read what we put down for the gratitude worksheet questions, you said, 'who is
willing to share his or her 'answers' with us?' Next time, it is better to use
the word 'responses' instead of 'answers'. When you ask people for 'answers' in
a meeting like that, it often suggests there are 'correct ones' and you are
only interested in hearing those who are 'correct'. Something tells some people,
'i better not share mine because it might not be the correct 'answer'". He
graciously explained. "Responses are personal and easy to respond to but
answers are specific. You see whenever my students give me a wrong answer to a
question, I don't tell them they are 'wrong' but use an expression like, 'you
answer this incorrectly' and teach them how to answer correctly." He
concluded.
I expressed my gratitude
to him for his kind feedback about the class but much more for teaching me how
to better communicate. I know English is not my major or first language but
guess what, effective communication is a life-long art we all have to continue
to master with all humility. I hope that helps someone. I can't wait to teach
that class to another group of people!
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